Saturday, March 24, 2012

A Letter to the Past

This is a message from Tim to Tim.  If there was anyone still reading the blog at this point, this isn't exactly a blog post.  You can read it if you want, but my past self is the one that needs to see this.  Here, I'll put in one of those jumps I always used to use.

Dear me,

I hope this message finds you well.  Just kidding, I know exactly how this message will find you.  I'm sure you'll be extremely skeptical as to the origins of this message, so I'll start off with some proof that I really am you.  First off, the means of sending the message to the past.  I bought a large number of ethernet cords and adapters that allow you to stick two of them end to end.  I used all those to bring my laptop into Renolia with internet.  Then, I wrote this message and used magic to send it back in time.  I'd tell you the words I used for that, but I'm sure you understand that such power could be dangerous in the wrong hands.  Besides, if you really needed to use it, you could just figure it out.  I did, and I'm you.

Now I know what you're thinking.  "That's not proof, that's just a way that the message could have been sent.  Besides, you could have sent yourself back in time instead and not even need to give any proof."  Believe me, I wanted to send myself back.  There was just no way to channel that much energy at once.  Even sending this message requires help from Theo and Catherine, and my calculations say that I won't survive sending the message in order to witness the ice age resulting from the sudden loss of heat.  I know you're curious as to what message could be so important, but you don't have enough proof yet to believe anything I say.

Okay, here's the real proof.  Look at the time stamp.  This post was put on the site just a few minutes before you accidentally clicked a link to your own blog.  You were in your dorm at the time, sitting on your bed.  Before you glance up to check for people spying on you, remember that your blinds are down.  Oh, and you were listening to some songs at the time.  If that's not enough proof, I don't know what else to tell you.  I know you wouldn't want secrets revealed in a public place.

Alright, here's the actual message.  Stop being an idiot.  Seriously.  My inaction has resulted in the end of the world.  Sorry, both worlds.  You should already know what's wrong.  I'm not going to insult my own intelligence by saying it flat out.  If you really can't figure it out, write down the other half of that blog post you never finished and think about what went wrong.  You only have a week or two to fix things before the damage is irreversible.

I'd love to give you some extra last minute advice about less important matters like schoolwork or relationships, but honestly, I've spent most of the time since then in a panic trying to fix this mess and failing miserably.

You from two years in the future


  1. Hm. End of the world. Not very good, that. But then again, I'm a fan of Doctor Who, so I'm into the end of the world.

    1. I'm a fan of Doctor Who as well. I imagine the end of the world is more fun when you watch it on TV than when it's happening around you.